A Letter Home...at the end of a very strange month in London...

An email I sent to friends and family recently that I wanted to share with you:

- - - - -

Hi all

I wanted to say thank you to each of you who has emailed or called to find out if I was okay after the July 7th terrorist bombings in London (and again on the 21st). While I cannot express the sadness and anger that I felt on the 7th, I am okay. My hands shook, my heart ached, and tears welled up all day. Yes - Thursday was a strange day. I was not in the city when the bombs went off, but when I heard about them minutes later, I felt as if someone had given me a direct blow. This was my city being bombed. A place I have come to love and cherish, and a set of people that I am one of - and we were being attacked!!! On a daily basis, I do take the underground and the train to work. What I felt was not a loss of safety so much - perhaps I should, as two of the blasts were within 1/2 mile of my flat - and all of them within 2.5 miles. Instead, I felt ready for a fight. An anger, a determination, a confusion, and an underlying frustration. WHY??? I will never understand the logic behind murder - for any cause. Why would someone do that?

After a day of watching the news, being stuck 30miles out of the city, and feeling helpless, I was tempted to stay Thurs night in a hotel. But I changed my mind and instead rode my normal train back into London - I wanted to be home. From the train station, I took a bus (yes a double decker red one) through the city. It was the most somber and quiet ride of my life, but I was determined to not let fear stop me from doing what I would normally do. What struck me most about the city - was the silence. In a city of 10 million - there was no sound. There were people everywhere, but I mean there was absolutely not a sound - Not from a car, not a horn, not from a laugh or even a conversation. It was like being stuck in a not-so-funny Charlie Chapelin movie where the plot is horrible.
But today is Saturday - it's been two days - and London is altogether different. This city is so resilient - the people here so strong. The eerie silence is gone. The construction has begun again out my bedroom window, the cars are whizzing by again - I hear brakes, I hear horns, I hear movement. And the people - are smiling and some even laughing. Tourists are taking pictures, and monuments are being visited. Although we jump when we hear sirens, life is strangely normal. It's empowering, and slightly frightening how quickly we have moved back into our daily lives. I think perhaps because most of the destruction was underground - we have forgotten the images quite quickly. I am slightly worried that we are like the rabbits in Richard Adam's book Watership Down - all too happy to forget what has happened and pretend life is normal. It's a balance between needing life to be somewhat normal and not being callous to the fact that our city was bombed less than 3 days ago.
On a completely separate note - last Thursday morning (yes July 7th), I wrote this draft email (see below) on my train ride to work - just about the time the first bombs went off. The events of the day quickly overshadowed and overwhelmed me - and I never sent it out. In re-reading it today, I think it is even more appropriate that I share with you my thoughts on life in London. I hope that as you read this, you get a sense of how much I love this great city, how much I admire it's great people, and how much living here has changed me forever.

I hope all of you are safe and well.

Suzy

- - - - -

After receiving a long, warm, and colourful email from a friend of mine in Iraq (thanks Duane), I realized that perhaps I have been relying on my blog far too much. Although I post most of my adventures on the website, it makes hearing about my adventures a little impersonal to many of you. So I decided to write you all a letter. So - here goes... this is my 'letter home' from London.

I can hardly believe I've been living in this great city for over 8 months. I was reflecting with my friend Jill last night that it was exactly one year ago, on a flight between the Microsoft Partner Conference and an Accenture training course, that I read the Goal 1, Mission 0 article - the authors words stopped me, made me think, and forced me to re-prioritise my life and career goals. It was only three days later that I made the decision to move from Seattle to London. You can question - how can reading one article have that big of an impact on a person? I suppose the answer is - everyday we are confronted with these types of situations - with opportunity for change, and one day, we grab it and hold on for dear life, and when you look back - you are thankful that you made that leap of faith, and stunned that you never took that change before.

When I think about my first months in London - they were exciting, growing, mentally exhausting, and some of the most alone moments I have ever spent. And yet, I was smiling, every day waking up and thinking - Is this really my life? Did I really do it? This has to be a dream!! There were days where I literally jumped out of bed with giddy anticipation to explore the city. I can remember bouncing down the stairs of my flat for my morning run, and as I opened the door to let the rush of the bursting city in around me, and I would smile - This is my city.

Today, my life is much different than it was when I first arrived. Time (and to some extent loneliness) has changed me - it has given me a great confidence. I suppose London itself has changed me. I have always held my head high, but in London, and in knowing that I have survived a city this big and powerful, I walk with purpose and stride. I walk with a sense of knowledge, and I walk with pride. Pride in this city. Pride in being able to know the perfect market to buy all my fresh produce for under 5 pounds. Pride in knowing my Italian grocer by name because I pick up my bread and cheese every Saturday. Pride in being able to know just a few of the thousands of cobbled streets by name and in being able to navigate a tourist to any haunt in London. Yes - Pride.

I love this city. It is a place that you could never really know all of - because each and every district is constantly changing. From the markets of Camden, to the shops at Kensington, to the Greenwich wharf, to Hyde Park, to EC1, and even to my favourite café on Charlotte street. Almost every Saturday, I set out to explore the city (either by myself or with friends). I take in new markets, new museums, new foods, and new people. My favourite Sunday activity is to grab a book and read at a little café while the bustle goes on around me. It's soothing somehow, to be a part of the madness, but be able to carve out your own piece of serenity. In London, I find things strange and lovely - and no matter how long I live here, I am betting that the wonder of this city will never wear off.

With much love from London!

Suzy